Navigating Autistic Burnout: A Semester Retrospective on the Artistic Process

‘my sister and me’ | children’s clothing, latex paint, wire | 2023

Being diagnosed with Autism this past year has offered me a new perspective on the challenges I’ve faced. Struggles like lights feeling “too loud,” the physical pain triggered by thunderstorms, and the difficulty controlling outbursts during overwhelming moments have started to make sense. Armed with a diagnosis, I can now advocate for better accommodations and utilize more effective tools to support myself when needed.

Despite these accommodations, I still grapple with the pace of assignments in my classes, attempting to find a balance between academic and creative work while ensuring I have enough energy to present during critiques.

A recurring cycle of burnout seems to plague each semester. Around the midterm mark, I begin to feel the drain on my body and mind, and by the semester’s end, I’m just relieved to have passed.

My desire to create works worthy of showcasing in my portfolio clashes with the swift turnover of assignments. I often struggle to submit work I can be proud of, preferring quality over meeting deadlines for the sake of a grade. This perfectionist mindset leads to a negative feedback loop where I submit projects late, resulting in reduced marks. By the end, I’m exhausted, contemplating quitting, and recovering from the marathon endured over the past four months.

During finals for this semester, a teacher suggested we work just as hard over winter break, emphasizing the importance of continuous art creation. While I agree that keeping our minds busy is crucial, I’ve come to realize that just as Autistic burnout can occur, so can Artistic burnout.

The simplified artistic process typically follows this cycle:

idea -> planning -> creation -> evaluation

However, within the university structure, this repetitive cycle leaves much to be desired, especially when creating works for assignments rather than personal expression (as in years 1 and 2).

I propose that a critical step is missing from this process, one often neglected in the academic structure:

Inspiration

Gathering inspiration is a vital stage within the creative process. Without finding sources of inspiration, an artist may feel as though they are pouring from an empty cup. There’s no one-size-fits-all method for staying inspired, and sometimes acknowledging that you’re not inspired and saying, “Nope, not today; I’ve got nothing,” is just as valid. This closely mirrors the ways in which I deal with burnout associated with autism.

Taking care of oneself first – Just as in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, is crucial. Meeting the physical and structural bases first allows space for inspiration to strike. It’s okay to rest your mind and body, giving yourself time to recover energy.

Gather your seeds – This metaphor suggests that you need to gather your seeds before planting them in the spring. Similar to filling your own cup before giving to others, gathering seeds can take various forms, such as consuming various media, talking with friends, visiting galleries, reading books, journaling, and engaging in the community.

It’s okay to play – The problem I’ve found with this cycle often is the lack of space for “failures.” Not failures as a negative, but the opportunity for things not to turn out is necessary to encourage genuine inspiration. If there’s a deadline with a critique at the end, it implies that polished, finished pieces are the main goal. Allowing yourself the opposite—playing with your materials, experimenting with new techniques, being intuitive—might lead you down an unexpected path.

In conclusion, the intersection of Autism and the artistic journey has brought to light not only the unique challenges faced but also the resilience required to navigate them. Reflecting on this semester’s retrospective, it’s evident that Autistic burnout is a tangible reality that parallels the more commonly recognized phenomenon of artistic burnout.

The quest for inspiration emerges as a crucial component often overlooked in the structured academic setting. As the simplified artistic process—idea, planning, creation, evaluation—continues its repetitive cycle, the absence of a dedicated step for inspiration becomes glaringly apparent. Recognizing this gap emphasizes the need to foster an environment that encourages exploration, creativity, and self-care.

Amidst the challenges, advocating for accommodations has proven essential, providing tools to navigate the academic landscape successfully. The realization that burnout, whether Autistic or Artistic, necessitates proactive measures for self-preservation underscores the importance of balance and self-compassion.

As this semester draws to a close, the lessons learned extend beyond the academic realm into the broader canvas of life. Striving for a harmonious integration of inspiration, self-care, and creative expression paves the way for a more sustainable and fulfilling artistic journey. In embracing both the unique aspects of Autism and the demanding nature of artistic pursuits, the journey becomes not just a semester retrospective but a continuous exploration of growth, resilience, and authenticity.